Here is a sneak peak at a scene from Pure Abandon. It’s my favorite : )
((WARNING: SPOILER ALERT!!!))
“You’re going home?” His left arm wraps around his head and rubs the back of his neck, making the shirt wrinkle out of his jacket.
My voice rises in a harsh tone. “Please leave. I can’t look at you anymore.”
Asher releases the door and in one stride makes his way toward me. With both hands, he takes my face. “Please. Talk to me.”
My heart wants to melt, but I can’t be roped back into the vicious cycle. I remove his hands from my cheeks. I can’t take his touch anymore.
“This has to stop,” I cry.
“What has to stop?”
“This.” I motion to the space between us. “All of this. The talks, the gifts, the touching, the dancing, the kisses… all of it.”
His body is bowed toward me in a plea. His face is in anguish and that deep voice of his loses its footing. “What happened? Please. Talk to me.”
I can’t do this anymore.
“Go back to Simone. Go fuck her for all I care. Just leave me alone.” I grab the suit I came in from the closet and make my way toward the door.
My heart nearly leaps out of my chest as Asher grabs my shoulders, holding me still. I can’t move from his grasp.
“I don’t want Simone. Why do you think I’m here?” His eyes search mine for the answer, for recognition that I understand what he’s saying. “I walked her to the elevator. She wanted me to come up, but I didn’t want to. I went back for you. I went back and you were gone.”
He went back for me?
I will not get my hopes up. I can’t go into the darkness with him any longer. “No, Alex, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be your friend anymore.”
I try not to look into his eyes, but he grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.
“Why can’t you be my friend anymore? Tell me!” His voice is stern.
“Because of this!” I move backward out of his hold. My eyes brim with tears, but I will them away. “Because when you touch me, I melt. When you stand near me, my body lights on fire.”
I can’t believe these words are pouring out of my mouth. I don’t care. He has to hear this. I have to put an end to this.
“You say you want to be friends, but I can’t. You say I’m refreshing and you love spending time with me. You say you’re relaxed around me. But I… I’m a ball of knots around you. I can’t breathe half the time.”
Asher screams out. “You think I’m relaxed around you?” His eyes are on fire. The controlled man starts to pace in front of the door. The only door that marks my escape. He runs his hands through his golden hair and tugs at the ends in frustration.
Exasperated, I don’t know what to do to make him move and let me the hell out. I try to reason with him. “You said… You always… You say you want to be friends and then this happens…”
“I know what I said, but it’s a lie. I said that shit about being friends so you’d spend time with me, so you wouldn’t run from me every time I entered the room.” He stops pacing as his body tenses, raising his hands into tight fists, punching the air around him. “You think I’m relaxed? I’ve been a nervous wreck for weeks!” He hits the dresser with his fist. My body flinches at his action.
“Damn it! I’ve wanted you from the first time I saw you in the rain. I swear I didn’t know who you were, but you were the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen in my life. And then I found out you were married. It nearly killed me.”
He swallows hard and walks toward me, determined. How can he be saying these things to me? It’s not right.
“Don’t say it,” I plead; yet inside I desperately want him to keep on going.
“I want you, Kathryn.” Asher says my name, my real name, and it sounds like a prayer on his lips. He grabs me and pulls me close.
My face flashes hot and tears begin to form behind my eyes. “No, you can’t.”
“I. Want. You. Kathryn. I want you. I want you. I want you!” He pauses for a second and, with no warning, his body comes crashing toward me like a bulldozer. “Fuck it… I need you.”
His lips press hard on mine and, in animalistic passion, our arms lock around each other. Yearning, wanting, needing… our lips move fast and steady. Our tongues dance and I find it hard to breathe. Not from nerves, but from the sheer pace of our actions. I steady my lips, trying to fight the urge but he has a hold on them. He tastes so sweet and smells so exotic.
I try to fight it…
I try to resist it…